Making Up Your Mind About Love

"You know, I think I'm falling in love!" You have probably heard this a lot of times (movies excluded) from people you know (you included). Don't you find anything strange about the statement: "...I'm falling in love!" Do you think this means you tripped, fell on a hole, and there's love all around? Do you think it also means you were dizzy, saw things around you whirling and you fell on the floor face down on top of a word spelled "L-O-V-E"? Do you think most people who got married fell in love? You mean they had no conscious will to just love someone? They have to fall into it? Honestly, I think it's a lot of bull----! I never really subscribed to this falling in love thing. I hate not being able to decide who to care about or what to care about. Love is such a strong concept and one of the most complex human emotions should not be trifled with statements that implies an accidental involvement. Can we not just decide to love someone? We're not dogs driven by instincts. We are a complex creature (well I still think we are!) You find someone. You get to know them. (Check this out because I used the word "know".) You just don't feel that they are good or bad, smart or dumb, happy or sad. You can understand and you can know if people are good, bad, smart, dumb, happy or sad. You just know. Just as you would know how beautiful a flower is. How brightly the sun illuminates your world. How someone can lighten us up by their words. We just know. Now how can the concept like love be driven down to a statement like "falling in love". I think is better to hear people say that "I know and I have decided that I will love you." My wife Marilyn always ask me the same thing when our wedding anniversary starts creeping around the corner (like several weeks ahead). She always starts with, "it was not so long ago when we started out with just the two of us!" We literally (swear to God) just had one bag of clothes each when we got married and nothing else. "Why me? You had so many women and you ended up with me. Why me?" She is always asking me this! I always had the same answer. "You know I am a very selfish person. I decided that I want to be happy for the rest of my life. I decided that I will love you for the rest of my life. I know, I always know that I will love you and my loving you will make me happy. See how selfish I am! I made a decision to be happy. I made a decision to love someone. I did not have an accident and "fell in love". Most people who meet an accident when falling in love don't know what will hit them so they wake up to a concept called "divorce". I don't believe in divorce. I made a decision to love someone. I committed to that decision because I was awake when I made it. I know life is not easy. Somehow it made the hardest part worth going through because there is someone you love who willingly go through that same thing with you. I know it was not easy for her. Just as I decided to love her, I also decided not to mess up her life by making a mess out of mine. I know she loves me. She wakes up early just to make sure I have a hot meal (and she is such a great cook you just can't go on an honest diet with her). She forgets to look after herself just for me and the kids. I know that too. (It's the reason she always have a weekend off whether she likes it or not. She still feels guilty using her weekends off and this is our tenth year together). When I was in high school I just had this urge to learn how to wash the dishes, clean the floor, change diapers, iron and wash my own clothes and now I know why. It was the only way I can give Marilyn her day off. If I don't wash the dishes on weekends, don't change the baby's diaper, don't wash the clothes and iron them, Marilyn can't have her day off now. It such a wonder to realize this. I haven't even met her and I was already preparing myself years ago to give my wife her weekend off. I really did not fall in love. I know now that a long time ago that I will have a wife. I will love her and I will give her a weekend off from a husband like me. I know I love her because I made up my mind a long time ago.

The Fastest Growing Crime in America Today!

Practically anyone who is born in this day and age will have a piece of information about him kept in a database somewhere. Your birthday, address, social security, tax identification, mortgage, school records, driving citations, credit application, loan application and even your prescription. There's always some form of data or information about us kept in some database somewhere. If those sets of information are assumed by someone else besides you then someone just practically stole your whole life and everything that goes with it--credit ratings included.

We take for granted a lot of information we give away in some forms, applications or even over the phone in a public booth. It never occurred to us that those pieces of information in the wrong hands can mean someone can assume our identity and do almost anything with it like apply for a loan, use our credit, subscribe for membership in clubs, or commit crime in our name.

Identity theft is defined by the ID Theft Act (18 U.S.C. § 1028(a)(7), 1029(e)) and by FTC Rule 16 C.F.R. § 603.2, and includes the misuse or attempted misuse of any identifying information – such as the SSN, biometric data, or an existing credit card account number - to commit fraud.

According to the Federal Trade Commission in its 2006 Identity Report "approximately 8.3 million U.S. adults discovered that they were victims of some form of ID theft in 2005."

In the United States alone it was estimated that 15 million people (or 1 in 20) have their identity compromised in 2006. The University of Texas - Arlington Alumni Association in 2006 believed that 100,000,000 people have been affected by losses of personal data in the last 20 months prior to November of that year. 5 million of these are from university losses so much so that Arlington Alumni Association enrolled their 130,000 alumni throughout the U.S. in an Identity Theft Protection service provided by LifeLock.

==============================================

LifeLock® helps consumers to render their personal information useless to thieves, backing up its service with a one million-dollar service guarantee. Famous for its CEO giving out his Social Security Number in advertising and national press, the company is experiencing astounding growth. Located in a secure facility in Tempe, Arizona, LifeLock is a private company backed by Goldman Sachs, Kleiner Perkins Caufield and Byers, as well as Bessemer Venture Partners.

==============================================

Here are some relevant information from the United States Federal Trade Commission (FTC)

How do thieves steal an identity?

According to a Federal Trade Commission advisory, identity theft starts with the misuse of your personally identifying information such as your name and Social Security number, credit card numbers, or other financial account information. For identity thieves, this information is as good as gold. Skilled identity thieves may use a variety of methods to get hold of your information, including:

1. Dumpster Diving. They rummage through trash looking for bills or other paper with your personal information on it.
2. Skimming. They steal credit/debit card numbers by using a special storage device when processing your card.
3. Phishing. They pretend to be financial institutions or companies and send spam or pop-up messages to get you to reveal your personal information.
4. Changing Your Address. They divert your billing statements to another location by completing a change of address form.
5. Old-Fashioned Stealing. They steal wallets and purses; mail, including bank and credit card statements; pre-approved credit offers; and new checks or tax information. They steal personnel records, or bribe employees who have access.
6. Pretexting. They use false pretenses to obtain your personal information from financial institutions, telephone companies, and other sources.

What do thieves do with a stolen identity?

Once they have your personal information, identity thieves use it in a variety of ways.

Credit card fraud:

• They may open new credit card accounts in your name. When they use the cards and don't pay the bills, the delinquent accounts appear on your credit report.
• They may open new credit card accounts in your name. When they use the cards and don't pay the bills, the delinquent accounts appear on your credit report.
• They may change the billing address on your credit card so that you no longer receive bills, and then run up charges on your account. Because your bills are now sent to a different address, it may be some time before you realize there's a problem.

Phone or utilities fraud:

• They may open a new phone or wireless account in your name, or run up charges on your existing account.
• They may use your name to get utility services like electricity, heating, or cable TV.

Bank/finance fraud:

• They may create counterfeit checks using your name or account number.
• They may open a bank account in your name and write bad checks.
• They may clone your ATM or debit card and make electronic withdrawals in your name, draining your accounts.
• They may take out a loan in your name.

Government documents fraud:

• They may get a driver's license or official ID card issued in your name but with their picture.
• They may use your name and Social Security number to get government benefits.
• They may file a fraudulent tax return using your information.

Other fraud:

• They may get a job using your Social Security number.
• They may rent a house or get medical services using your name.
• They may give your personal information to police during an arrest. If they don't show up for their court date, a warrant for arrest is issued in your name.

How can you find out if your identity was stolen?

The best way to find out is to monitor your accounts and bank statements each month, and check your credit report on a regular basis. If you check your credit report regularly, you may be able to limit the damage caused by identity theft.

Unfortunately, many consumers learn that their identity has been stolen after some damage has been done.

• You may find out when bill collection agencies contact you for overdue debts you never incurred.
• You may find out when you apply for a mortgage or car loan and learn that problems with your credit history are holding up the loan.
• You may find out when you get something in the mail about an apartment you never rented, a house you never bought, or a job you never held.

  =================================

  The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) works for the consumer to prevent fraudulent, deceptive, and unfair business practices in the marketplace and to provide information to help consumers spot, stop, and avoid them. To file a complaint or to get free information on consumer issues, visit www.ftc.gov or call toll-free, 1-877-FTC-HELP (1-877-382-4357); TTY: 1-866-653-4261. The FTC enters Internet, telemarketing, identity theft, and other fraud-related complaints into Consumer Sentinel, a secure, online database available to hundreds of civil and criminal law enforcement agencies in the U.S. and abroad.

  ====================================

Life's Great Gifts

There's that strange but great glow in people's faces when they receive a gift unexpectedly from someone. However, with a fast and sometimes weary modern living, people have shown less and less excitement about gifts unless they are really expensive ones.

We have started to equate the value of gifts by its price tag, its gift-wrap and even the dangling tag that carries the store brand. Maybe I'm naive or maybe I have not received that much gifts in my lifetime to be even making comments about gift giving.

Some people like my father like giving gifts through "education".

My father, who was not a really likeable character, had a strange way of educating us. Every summer he finds many ways to get us to work on very odd jobs. He encouraged, okay, he coerced us to do really dirty jobs like working with automotive repairmen, construction workers, copra and corn farmers, fishermen, tuba gatherers, body-guarding, demolition, you name it. Me and my two brothers literally got our hands on almost anything that got us dirty, bruised, sprained, stabbed, shot, and in absolutely rare occasions applauded.

We never got any gifts doing this. We did get paid for doing it which never amounted to anything because we ended up spending it anyway helping a farmer with his sick son, a worker with his pregnant wife, a stranger in a car accident, half a dozen kittens "adopted" by my brother, medicine for an "orphaned" old lady, or gas expenses for taking a lost kid back to his parents.

All those years, we never got a gift for anything special we did. We earned a lot of really vicious enemies along the way, and it's pretty obvious that giving us gifts will be the last things in their minds. One actually shot my brother and almost killed him.

But then life has a really strange and pretty weird way of telling you how gifts are delivered. Believe me it never came in neat boxes or bright colored gift-wraps. Although for once you wish they did.

Right after college when I had to take on the world on my own, I get to meet characters, some a bit crazy, some ordinary, some honorable, some just lost. I get to mingle, talk, argue, fight, and whether I understand it enough or even admit it, I learned. Easy or hard, wholeheartedly or violently I got "mentored" about life.

Scenes of encounters, words, pictures, actions, and kaleidoscope of experiences have pieced together the bits and pieces of what I have become. I am stronger today more probably than I would care to admit because of the people that have hurt me, impressed me, betrayed me, taught me, denied me, loved me and more importantly those that made me happy by the mere fact of their existence.

And then it dawn on me the great gifts bestowed upon me, by a Greater Power. All those great and even fleeting instances of life's path crossing each other across my life and someone else’s are really my lifetime's greatest gifts. Looking back, I did need them at exactly the moment where it had the most impact to me in building the person I have become.

Today, I live and look at life like a gift waiting to be unwrap. Some gifts are called Nelia, William, Joseph, Judith, Lea, Marilyn, Marylou, Juan, Kristian, Adrian, Lotis, Yaya, and a whole vocabulary of gifts that wouldn't fit a dictionary in paper or in electronic form.

Some of these gifts may not want to be unwrapped in my lifetime. Like I said, they are life's gift to me and I'm glad they arrive for me even though I may not have the chance to open them up. They are colorful and interesting gifts.

Some look like they were born to be open. You see them and they smile. The world is better everyday because of that. Some are more like electronic boxes you may have to figure out how to unwrap them. They never come with the manual.

I sure would like to try opening some of them one of these days, the way my son Adrian and my daughter Kristian would, both having the single-mindedness to find the best way to open gifts before the great celebration. I envy their innocence.

Like a child, you can bet I'll try.

Wouldn't you?

P.S.: Susan Denham this one's for you!